Rectify

Thanks God

what can i said is just...I'm free!!!

can't share this feeling...only me myself know how free i am...to be honest, i just pretend nothing happen between both of us...*identity beliau terpaksa dirahsiakan...untuk kebaikan kami berdua...

kenal tp mcm x kenal...dan aku pulak, name je satu skolah tp harem aku x kenal die..sorry bkn aku sombong tp aku ni jns manusia yg susah nak buat kwn...dah kwn, mmg susah nak lupe la...tp nk start mmg sukar tahap dewa la...aku cam ssh gile nak say hi kat org yg aku x penah kenal...so, it's true me

die start contact aku last year after kitorg ade reunion geng2 high school (TMS) on July if i'm not mistaken...1st die send msg thru friendster then die start nk jd friend aku kt FS...aku ok je...x kesah...after period of time, he request to add me as his friend in his ym friend's list...he add me, i just accept him and since there, we always chit chatting...talking about our own life...he got lots of things to share with...aku dgn rela hati dgr and pengalaman die best la penuh cabaran dan rintangan...even problem yg agak peribadi pon die sudi share ngan aku...ade gak la part yg die mengadu "something" about his life...xley nk gtau kat sni....too personal...

ym, ym and ym...after long time communicate thru ym, he asked me to gv him my phone number..as friend, i dont think i cant gv it to him...ala...kwn2 nak no. phone kan?normal la tu....start from that moment onwards, he became more caring...like a caretaker...dah la mase tu aku lonely...i'm all alone on that moment...aku dah rase pelik di situ tp x pk yg bukan2...open lagi la...aku mmg terima kasih byk2 kat die time tu....die mmg amek berat psl aku....x sangke gak la org laki mcm die leh caring mcm tu skali kt aku...sedangkan die x kwn sgt ngan gurls lain...aku dpt info ni pon drpd junior2 die yg stdy same2 ngn die kt INSTEP...junior ke?xla...same batch...cuma bdk tu muda setahun drpd die...aku pon jd rapat gak ngan bdk tu...mane x nye...most of the nite duk kakak kakak! kakak suke *** *** x?aduhai...akak xley jwb tu la dik oi...huhu..just forget about it...tp mmg geng2 diorg agak pelik la die duk ym ngan "a gurl"..x penah2 la kot kes ni berlaku...huhu...

in short, die ade la hint2 yg die ala2 suke aku..*blushed...wehee~~

tp aku x kenal sgt ngan die and i'm not a risk taker ok...lg pon..hati aku x stable sgt time tu..mcm dh blocking dh time tu...aku sedih gak la...tp aku x de la tolak die mentah2 mcm aku dh penah buat kt someone b4 this (during my school time)...tu zaman kanak2 riang..x pk perasaan org lain...bantai jerk xnak terima org...bkn jual mahal ok!just time tu aku xtau ape itu CINTA...

utk tidak wat org terus mengharap, aku buat citer yg aku in a relationship with someone padahal mase tu aku dh break dh pon...sori la...tu mmg aku tipu...dan tu la yg buat aku rase bersalah ya amat...tp aku tipu pon utk kebaikan semua pihak...aku tanak die kecewa at the end...aku bkn x suke die...suke je..tp just suke utk buat kwn...kenot more than a friend la...sejak tu die mule menjauhkan diri...obviously lak tu....mmg nmpk la...may be sbb die x bese nk handle feeling2 nie...

lame gak la die senyap...tetibe die muncul kembali mcm xde pape yg terjadi...emm...aku try la buat mcm xde pape gak...serius, lame beb die majok ngan aku..aduhai...kental gak la die ni...aku msg x lyn tu...aduh...aku mmg rase bersalah gile r time tu...tp xkan nk tarik blk kot statement rekaan aku semat-mata tu lak kan?kenot!

last 3-4 months die ade berterus terang sesuatu kt aku..thru ym...mse tu die kt Perhentian Island...diving...die bgtau actually dh lame die usha aku...since form 2..tp x berani nk tegur...die ckp dulu aku slalu wat muke ketat..sekali sekale senyum manis gak la...aummm...kembang gile aku time tu...haha....koya2..ok2...back to the story...kitorg dh ok time tu...die x marah aku dh kot time tu...last month, die ade call aku..siap pinjam no maxis kwn die lg tu...die pakai celcom...cost ckit la contact aku kan..since aku kan pelanggan setia maxis...huhu...die top up RM30 kot...die kol aku 3 kali kot...1st tu jap je...yg 2nd and 3rd tu lame r...yg last call dlm sejam lebey gak la...he wants to settle everything with me...tp still leh gelak2 lg la...die ade gak la ngadu psl back pain die tu...then aku duk pujuk2 gak la die g check kt doc...die duk asyik amek pain killer jerk...just utk tahan sakit je..pastu sakit lg..even duk dlm lecture hall pon die sakit2...kesian gak la...

pastu senyap...ade la comment2 thru FB..aku tanak la putus kawan terus kan...mcm x bgs gak kan putus kwn?for me la...dont know others...and surprisely, tonite he buzz me!

intro as usual...good sign!hehe...die ok...mcm xde pape jerk...tetibe die mintak permission aku nk tanye sesuatu..and more tu nak mintak pandangan and some advice...aku tye la skop ape kan?die jwb, psl tino laa...opsss...gurl??haha...yes!finally, he found someone...aku gembira die tanye aku psl gurl...even aku x confirm lg tino tu utk gf ke mak ke kakak ke nenek ke mak cik ke hape kan?tp seriously, deep into my heart keep saying that he opens his heart now...hehe...bla bla bla...aku just ckp la ape2 yg patut kan...tp ssh ckit la nk ajar coz aku side pompuan...mane la nk pro ngan bab2 nk pikat gurl nie...aku just ckp, kalo aku...aku tertarik kt guy yg ala2 caring gitu dan yg xmudah putus asa..that's the key word....for me la...

die blur coz die sgt x berani...dan aku ade gak mention yg actually the words "I Love You" is not the main idea...may be pendekatan lain lg berkesan....

dh lewat dh then die lapo nk carik kepsi...so die kuar...tetibe aku termenghayati lagu VE titled IZINKAN...ish...tgk2 kt lirik die tu cam sesuai je utk kwn aku yg sorang nie...then aku terus msg die...hehe..share this with him....who knows thru song, leh menambat hati sang puteri..kan?aku suke die jumpe org yg die suke....

p.s: semoga beliau menemui insan yg mampu membahagiakan dirinya...tiada yang lain, hasrat aku just nk tgk die bahagia....just that...dont give up my friend...