**just want to share
"I can never forget about him… He was the only one I ever loved that much… I will never love someone else as I loved him… I can never imagine myself being with someone else…"
Do these phrases sound familiar? Have you been in that situation before?
If your answers are yes, then know that you were fooled and that you have been programmed to believe in the idea of “The one”.
The Myth of "The One"
Most romantic movies that you've seen, coupled with your imagination and lack of knowledge about the psychology of love have caused you to acquire a false idea about love, namely, thinking that there is something called “The One”. Everything that you see and hear programs your mind a bit and the more programming you receive about a certain idea, the more it's likely to eventually become a solid belief. This is exactly what happened with your idea about "The One". While reading this, you may find something inside you trying to resist the truth, but after looking at the following points you will realize that your belief was only an illusion.
Is the Concept of “The One” true?
- Anyone could fill that role: What actually makes you think that this person was “The one” is the sweet experience that you had with him. This experience is associated with that person and stored in your mind as one item, and so you think of both the experience and the person as one thing but actually they are two separate things. If you still aren't convinced, just wait and see what happens the next time you fall in love with someone and share that same sweet experience together. You will just forget about your old love and this new person will become the new "one".
- How many "ones" did you have before?: Just take a look at your past and you will discover that each time you fell in love you thought that this person was the one, that whatever happened you wouldn't be able to forget about him and that you won't be able to find someone like him again. What usually happens is that a few months later someone else appears in your life and becomes “the one” and so life goes on.
- The psychology of falling in love: As I said before, before you fall in love with someone your mind matches him against certain predefined criteria, if anyone matches these criteria you may end up falling in love wih him, but just because someone matched these criteria once and became “The one”, that doesn't mean that no one else can match it. What this actually signifies is that this person is currently the best match but sooner or later a better match could be found.
- Is this your first deep love experience? : If this is your first deep love experience, you will most probably believe in that false idea called “The one” more strongly simply because you have never experienced that emotional intensity with someone else before. In that case, you're not really to blame if you thought that he was the one, but the next time you enter a relationship, you will discover that it was the emotional intensity and not the person himself whom you loved.